


Not a laughing matter

by Bill_Longbow



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Howard isn't a bad guy, Just very sad, M/M, Minor Mentions of Violence, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, mentions of mimes, minor character: Howard Stark, minor character: James Rhodes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-28 15:23:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13906866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bill_Longbow/pseuds/Bill_Longbow
Summary: “Why is there a man on a unicycle juggling penguins in the throne room?” Tony hissed under his breath.Where king Howard had promised Tony's hand in marriage to whoever succeeded in making him laugh.





	Not a laughing matter

**Author's Note:**

> For the Stony fairy tale bingo square: The prince(ss) who could not laugh.
> 
> I struggled a bit with this one, mainly because I don't really like the original fairy tale. I hope it's still enjoyable!
> 
> Many thanks to [Skye](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Skye_wyr/pseuds/Skye_wyr) who is an awesome cheerreader!

A long, long time ago, in a kingdom far away, a prince was born. Sadly his mother died while giving birth, and the king, Howard the wise, was inconsolable. While he loved his son, he couldn’t bare look at him, for the babe looked too much like his beloved Maria. The king trusted the prince to his most loyal servant and his wife, and retreated from court life, ruling the kingdom from the loneliness of his quarters.

The prince wasn’t unaffected by this. As young as he was he seemed to realise the gravity surrounding his birth and he never once laughed.

Prince Anthony became known for his inquisitive nature, his bright mind and his kind heart, even if he never laughed. Sure, he would sneer at people who underestimated his intelligence, he could often be seen smirking at the antics of his friends, and he had this soft little smile reserved solely for his caretakers, Jarvis and his wife Ana, but he never truly laughed. No grins, no chuckles, no full belly affair, he never laughed.

After fifteen years of grieving by himself the king finally came back to court. He was amazed at the young man his son had become, and he felt extraordinarily guilty for being part of the reason the prince never felt enough joy to grin, let alone outright laugh. The king ushered a decree. Whoever could make his son laugh would have the right to marry him.

The years following this had been excruciating, for the prince that is. A seemingly endless stream of suitors had tried their very best to make him laugh, much to his dismay. Their efforts ranged from telling jokes or recounting their own adventures, to practical jokes and slapstick. Tony had seen them all. Acrobats, animals, ventriloquists, even mimes (he might've actually cried from annoyance that time), every and all were used in an attempt at making him laugh. (A rather nasty prince from a neighbouring kingdom had tried to tickle him, but after prince Hammer had been carried away with a broken jaw further suitors were forbidden to touch the prince.)

Many times Tony had wanted to scold Howard, but he couldn't. After fifteen years of solitude he was delighted by all the performances, and every time Tony sent the suitor away with barely a glance he seemed to shrink a bit in on himself. When they weren't in court Howard would come to Tony's workshop and they would talk about his designs. This made Tony smile a bit more, in the privacy of his own quarters, but laughing? No, there didn't seem a reason to.

Less and less suitors applied, sometimes weeks would go by in blessed quiet, and Tony was hoping they would soon deem it a hopeless cause and leave him in peace.  

  


“Rhodey,” Tony hissed under his breath, after the page had opened the heavy double doors. “Why is there a man on a unicycle juggling penguins in the throne room?” Tony already was annoyed he had been called back from his workshop, expecting some matter of state that took precedence. This travesty made his blood boil and he clenched and unclenched his fists at his sides.

“By order of the law we couldn’t deny him the right to try and curry your favor, you know this,” Rhodey said apologetically, wincing when one of the penguins fell on the floor with a sad quack.

The decree said potential suitors could have fifteen minutes of Tony's time to try and get the sought after reaction. With a loud sigh, making the man drop another penguin, which landed on its feet and quickly made a dash for it, he stomped to his seat to wait out the time, designing a new axle with shock absorber in his head.

When the man and his entourage had been ushered from the palace Tony wiped his hands over his eyes. He was gonna ask Pepper about animal treatment laws the next meeting, maybe some good could come from his suffering today. A warm hand landed on his shoulder and Tony smiled grateful at his best friend, who had endured almost every ‘performance’ with him. Even if Rhodey didn't understand why he didn't laugh, his friend had never once said anything about it.

 

 Together they snuck out of the palace, dressed in civilian outfits, to go to the market in the next town. They had been doing this for years now, and if the villagers recognised them they were kind enough to pretend they didn't. It was nice, going about as a normal person. No one bowed to him, no one treated him differently, but the best of all: no one cracked a joke.

Rhodey had met a young lady on one of their previous trips, a delightfully sharp woman, so with a hug he was off to meet with this Carol, leaving Tony alone to decide what to do. Tony loved to wander aimlessly over the market, buying parts that would find a use in one design or another, speaking with the merchants about their travels to far away countries.

  
He was just contemplating to call it a day when he heard a scuffle in a nearby alley, someone was obviously being pummeled. Cautiously Tony made his way closer. He was no coward, but he wasn't a fool either and he wouldn't run into a fight without knowing what he got himself into.

From the mouth of the alley he could spot them easily, one burly man was throwing around a kid like it was a ragdoll. Tony jumped out to help but when the kid got up Tony saw it was actually a frail young man, of an age with himself. The man stood swaying on his feet, but he held up his hands like a boxer and muttered something about doing this all day.

Tony didn't think _that_ was such a good idea, so when the larger man laughed, a horrible, cruel sound and stepped forward to attack the small one again, Tony didn't hesitate to run at him and give him a vicious chop on the shoulder nerve, incapacitating the man in one go. The man keeled over from pain and surprise and Tony kicked him in the kneecap to further dissuade him from trying anything.

He turned to the smaller man, but instead of being grateful or relieved the man rounded on him. “Whatcha do that for?” he exclaimed, hands on his hips and scowling something fierce. Tony could only blink in response.

“I had him on the ropes,” the man muttered, watching the big guy try to crawl away.

“From down there?” Tony couldn't help the corner of his mouth involuntary curling up. The smaller man, who proved to be a handsome blond, scowled even harder.

I was waiting for an opening!”

Deciding to ignore the other man's question of prowess for now Tony took a step forward to see if he was injured. “You're okay? Nothing broken, nothing stolen?

“What? You think _he_ attacked _me_? Heck no, he was bothering some girls so I punched him right in the nose,” the blond said while rubbing his right fist in remembered pain. “After asking politely if he would stop of course, I'm no barbarian.” He said this with so much conviction Tony felt a full smile blooming on his lips.

“I'm sure you're not.” Tony had never met someone he wanted to know so eagerly before.

“Watcha laughing at? It ain't proper to step into another man's business and then laugh in their face!” The man had stepped up into Tony's space and from up close he really was beautiful, with large blue eyes and a strong jaw. Tony wondered what he would look like without the perpetual frown.

Tony held his hands up in surrender. “I'm sorry, please don't hit me.” He tried to look serious but he wasn't sure he did a good job, judging by the state of the other man's frown.

The smaller man narrowed his eyes at Tony. “Are you thick or something? I just told you, I don't go around punching people for fun.” He emphasised his words by poking Tony in the chest once and Tony grinned. It only registered when the blond rolled his eyes and turned away. Tony's hands flew to his face in shock, touching his mouth, his jaw. He knew he must look strange because the other man stopped mid turn and now was looking a mixture of suspicious and worried.

“You okay there mister?”

Tony felt his legs sag from under him and he dropped unceremoniously on the alley floor.

“Oh shoot, you're gonna faint on me.” The man fell on his knees next to Tony and pushed him forward until his head was between his knees. “Take deep breaths, you can do it, one in, two three four out, one in… oh no, what? No, please don’t have a stroke...”

Tony had started to shake violently where he was hugging his knees, his whole body wracked with silent laughter. When he straightened to try and draw a breath the blond gaped in shock at him and then punched him in the shoulder.

“You jerk! Why I oughta…” He visibly reigned himself in and started to stand, but Tony held on to his arm.

“No, no, you don’t understand,” he gasped between giggles. “You made me laugh!”

“Yeah I got that, you weirdo. Can’t believe I was worried there…”

“No, look at me. Look! You know who I am.” Tony pulled on the other’s arm and stared at him, still grinning.

The blond squinted at him, really looked at him, and Tony saw the moment understanding dawned. “You’re the prince!” He exclaimed and Tony nodded happily, until the blond made to stand up. “Don’t care, go laugh at somebody else.” He tugged his hand loose and walked away, leaving Tony alone in bewilderment.

 

This was so completely unexpected, all of it, that Tony needed a minute to process things. He wasn’t sure what the law said about potential suitors rejecting _him_ , but he supposed it didn’t matter, he was intrigued by the other and vowed then and there to get him to like him. He jumped up and ran after the other.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always welcome!
> 
> Come say hi on [Tumblr](http://bill-longbow.tumblr.com) or join us on the [ Stuckony discord server ](https://discord.gg/jtXcc3n) for all things Tony, Bucky and Steve!


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